I stumbled upon this “pile of shirt” while heading back to my car from a brisk morning walk in town. The first thing that struck me were the beautiful colors of the shirt. It almost seemed summer-like, but it was winter flannel. Obviously a Target product.
I’m guessing the guy who lost it was drunk the night before, built like a brick shit-house and wanted to impress his date, so he decided to rip it off. They jumped into a nearby bush and had raucous sex in a semi public place. I subconsciously visually checked to see if there were any obvious signs of shirt ripping.
My second guess, was that his date was a slut, and she ripped it off him after some pot induced fraternity party. She probably slipped a roofie in his Miller Lite and decided to take full advantage of him in the middle of Matlack Street.
Then I remembered that I just checked for rippage. Sigh.
I also remembered that last night was about 35 degrees.
My third and final guess was that the guy dropped it from his gym bag since it was almost in front of the local YMCA.
Somedays I feel like the sexually overt version of Walter Mitty.